Keeping Vigil October 3, 2006

Keeping vigil is an act of love that gives you strength you never knew you had.

For the second time in my life I keep vigil by the side of my husband as his body gives into the Cancer that relentlessly claims his body and the life we have together. My first John husband died in 1997 of a blood cancer. I found another mate and now in 2006 I am facing this loss again with my second husband Ron.

A week ago we called in Hospice. He was tired of taking chemo knowing that his condition continued to worsen in spite of all that could be done for him. We were never given hope for a cure. We were only given a hope for a few more months of life and perhaps some better quality time. The quality time fell short but I am sure he would have been gone a few months ago without treatment.

A week ago last Thursday I took him to Emory Hospital in Atlanta to have a chest tube put in so that the fluid that continued to build up in his chest could be drained on a regular basis. Since then he has grown increasingly and alarmingly weaker.

This cancer is courtesy of Agent Orange used in the Vietnam War over 35 years ago when he was exposed to it. His exposure was less than some men's and they have long since died from the effects of exposure. He is now on the registry and has received 100% service-related disability. He started receiving monetary compensation but will not realize any benefits from it much. A couple of months will not amount to very much money to compensate for a life taken much too soon. We used to count war casualties as those who died while at war. Now it can claim a life years later. Seems so crazy and so senseless to me.

The vigil continues.